Toddlers With A Cheeky Tongue


 

As me and Amaya, my neighbour were chit chatting over an evening cup of coffee we heard the doorbell ring and there was Mrs. Malini from the 3rd floor furious about Rishi (Amaya’s son) cursing her son upon a silly fight during their play. Amaya all tensed and shocked to know that her 5-year-old has started using swear words. Amaya’s family is well-cultured and they address everyone with utmost respect. Amaya’s son Rishi goes to a school which is known for its discipline and culture. So, where could he possibly have acquired this vocabulary from?

The last thing you want is for your child to say a swear-word. But it’s uncanny to see that most children are learning how to use swearing at an early age. 

When it comes to children swearing at an early age, there are a few things you should know.

Why do children use swear-words?

When very young children swear, it’s generally a matter of repeating things they’ve heard. You might have seen children having great fun calling someone else a ‘toilet’ or a ‘garbage’ or anything silly that makes no sense. They are not trying to hurt or offend anyone, but are just developing verbal skills that very largely a repetition of what they observe.


Where do they learn to swear from?


Identify the source of the bad language and limit its exposure to them. Is it that your child is hearing swear words on TV? or has been overhearing you using such words ignorantly? Preschoolers are keen observers, even when you think they aren’t. They pick up vocabulary anywhere they go and swear words are simply a natural part of that development.

No matter how much we try to protect them from hearing such words, the rise is unavoidable, however, when prevention fails, you can always turn to a cure - Speak To Them About It!

If they don’t hear the word from you, they’ll hear it elsewhere - televisions they watch, the music they hear, the playground, a friend's birthday party, anywhere they catch someone around them swearing and then, they’ll try them out at home. This is why it’s important to be aware of what language your child is exposed to. Once you learn of their language development progressing towards swear-words you need to adhere to means to resolve these right at the beginning.


What should a parent do when their little ones start repeating these?

As a parent, it usually takes us by surprise when our children use such language out of the blue. Parent’s action depends on the child’s age and their intent. Is the child using the word in the air or directing the term at a specific person? Whether the child’s intent is to express frustration or to hurt anyone? Is the child using them as a means of getting the attention of the adults around him, not knowing what the meaning or implication of the words actually is?



When you do hear your kids curse, by far the best way to respond is - CALMLY!  With young kids, rightly said "the less attention paid, the better,” if you just ignore it, chances are that they won’t say it again. Be mindful of laughing or overreacting. He/she could use the word again to draw your attention or to get a reaction. 


While on the other side older children usually watch people around them using these words and associate swear words to expressing anger or pain after being hurt. They start using it when they are unhappy or sometimes it’s merely to look cool among their friends. This can be dealt with, by trying to explain them that curse words can be offensive and might hurt someone’s feelings.  If your child knows that swear-words are bad and is still using it, it’s a matter of bad behavior and may need to be disciplined when they use them.

P.S: Parents often worry that their children’s language and behavior will shape them into a bad person. Regardless of what language you use at home, sometimes children will pick up words and habits off route. Lay the groundwork for open dialogue, monitor the social environment, pattern of discipline and other crucial influences. Be watchful of the language and behaviour your child is being exposed to at all times, be it you, family, friends, screen-time or even the help around them. What they hear is what they speak so give their ears what fits them right. 


Happy parenting!




TODDLER PLAY DATE. THINK EFFORTLESS?

             

You schedule a play date at your house and your pre-schooler is super excited to meet his/her friends. Their playmates arrive and they take-off to play. Just in a while as you sit with the other mom friends of yours to sip a cup of coffee, you hear a shriek. Your child doesn’t want to share but the other children do want to exchange toys. You redirect them how good it is to share their toys and in next two minutes, you hear another child crying. Again, for sharing. Does this scenario sound familiar?

Oh, how we parents wish that our toddlers’ play date end in a way where they say, “I want my friends to come over to our house again!”

Play dates, especially with young children, often end up with the kids quarreling over toys and the mums struggling over methods of discipline. From what to do to how to do, we have amassed all the do's and don'ts to ensure your little one’s play date escapade is filled with laughter and gaiety.

DO ask your toddler if they want any specific toy not be shared with anybody else and put it away before their friends arrive. Alongside, emphasis on sharing lessons. 

If you’re afraid a precious item might get broken, put it out of sight beforehand. You should not have any conflicts and regrets later on.

DON'T bring singles of any toy (say, a special doll or bike) to a group play date. You should always bring toys that all the kids can enjoy.

DO establish some rules for play. If rules are being broken, step in to resolve any the conflict. If the quarrel ensues, have them separated or move to another activity that can bring them along.

DON’T intervene the squabble every time you hear a “this is mine” cry. Toddlers aren't great at sharing, but sometimes allowing them to resolve their own conflicts helps them get along well.

DO mind your child's manners. When you are going as a guest, brush up your child to be polite, helpful and respectful towards the host and other guests. Carry on with your mommy duties and keep a watch on your child and play by/follow the house rules.

DON'T leave the play date messed up, especially when your child is also part of the mess making. Offer help to clean-up.

DO offer to bring something that everyone can enjoy. It’s best to carry additional snack or meal to cater to your child’s special diet.

But check all snacks with other parents in advance to avoid possible food allergies.

DON’T have a play date when your child is sick. You do not want other children to get infected, so if your little ones under the weather, avoid play dates.

DO familiarize yourself with other moms. If your pre-schooler is doing a play date without you, make sure you know the mom hosting. Before parting, ensure your child feels comfortable with the host. 

DON’T be unreachable when you are dropping your kid for a play date. Maintain timelines for pick-up and drop.

DO return the favor. Offer to host a play date at your home. This way you help create connections between your family and others.

After completion of one successful play date, discuss the play date with your child and talk about next time. Happy play dates!